nobody said it was easy.

hi there.

missed you. I've been pretty caught up in other things lately, but there's a lot I should have written about. first - I've had quite a few days of feeling like I'm floating/dreaming/high out of my mind. in the best possible way. gotta attribute those to the adorable Coffee Master I'm currently dating. and, you know, the fact that I'm a ridiculous, irrational, optimist.

but then... my job. I get tired of hearing:
"Do you really want to be a barista for the rest of your life?"
- Yes.
"You think you can really make a living making people lattes?"
- Probably not.
"Find a job doing something you're really passionate about."
- Um, hello? Coffee?

not that any of this has ever discouraged me from being head-over-heels in love with my current job. I love the customers, the relationships with the regulars, the adrenaline during the morning rush, the ease with which you can make someone happy by memorizing their drink, the control I have over tips, the FREE COFFEE, the access to a decent espresso machine... oh god. love love love.

I also love the people I work with. but due to massive drama, we've lost two over the past month. not only do I miss them terribly, our store is now incredibly understaffed. also, the majority of our employees are in school, and during the semester I am among the only three who can work during the weekdays. so all my shifts start at either 5 am, 6 am, or 7 am. and I close Saturdays and come in at 8 on Sundays. that leaves me with a maximum of 6 potential hours of sleep, which wouldn't really be that bad, but the chances of me actually falling asleep as soon as I get home from work are slim. boo. also, I'll be working a total of 30 hours a week, plus 12 hours of school... and I think that's a lot to ask of anyone.

so I'm quitting. and it's tough. I had a few days where I felt completely unmotivated and uninspired to do anything - as if all I was actually capable of doing was working (found my inspiration, though - watch The Science of Sleep).

but... I turned in an application at Peet's, and I got a call yesterday and set up an interview for tomorrow. eek. there are things about Peet's that I'm not terribly excited about (uniform, potential slllooooww shifts, noisy grocery store right beside it) but there are other things I am excited about, like being paid what I deserve, getting the lunch breaks I'm legally entitled to, and hopefully having a more flexible schedule.

so wish me luck. I just want a job I can be happy with. that lets me play around with an espresso machine.