Breakfast at Tiffany's makes me feel like it's okay to be as complicated or as uncomplicated as I need to be, and that there will always be someone there who understands and loves me for who I am.
Amelie makes me feel so indescribably happy and in love with life - it reminds me not to overlook the little details that really affect things for the better when you appreciate them.
Garden State teaches me to keep feeling. Yeah, there are things in life that hurt like hell, but pain is better than just being numb to everything. To quote Natalie Portman's character, Sam, "...it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got."
It is pretty much all we have. And what would it be without a little heartbreak now and then? How would anyone be able to appreciate the good times without the bad ones to compare them to? I think I remember reading in The Hiding Place (the story of a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust and remained amazingly optimistic throughout the whole ordeal) something about how the people in the prison camp were thankful for the fleas constantly biting them, because the pain reminded them they were alive.
I've never had to deal with anything on the same level as the Holocaust, but I've definitely had ups and downs. In today's world, we're faced with the choice of being numb and never feeling anything; no joy, no sadness, no peace, no love; or feeling it all, with the happiness magnified by all the sadness you've experienced. I guess I'm thankful for the fleas, too.
Far too often I find myself joking about deep serious things; kind of glazing over the subject with sarcasm when I'm really just reluctant to show how affected I am by it. From my brief stint as a psychology student, I know that emotion = vulnerability. Which is really too bad, because it's hard to really be close to someone when you're always behind a shield of sarcastic remarks. But every now and then, someone like Sam comes along who makes you feel so safe and at home, and you just feel like telling them everything you feel and have ever felt. And it can change your life, if you let it.
Just having friends like that and being able to talk about everything important and meaningful doesn't solve everything - it may not even solve anything. But often, all you need is to find an outlet for everything building up inside your heart, good or bad. Sam, again, in her infinite wisdom says:
"...what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry, but in between I laugh, and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good."
This is the only reasonable solution to existentialism I've found. Live to be alive. If you're like me, and believe in one huge, overwhelming reason for your existence, nothing else really matters and you just have to laugh the rest of it off.
So go out, rent these movies, buy some Shins albums, and laugh, cry, and care about something. But don't care too much about caring.
"Ahhh, conundrum!"
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