walk along the open road of love and life - surviving if we can.

mmm. I am feeling very at peace with the universe.

feeling so forgiving, I even changed my ex-ex-ex boyfriend's name in my phone book from "Ignorant Slut" to "Loserface." :)

more and more things are falling into place. new job finally came through for me (free coffee is mine once more), I THINK I figured out what I still need to transfer to UTD (just need to get admissions on the phone and apply for scholarships), and post-break-up complications are fading fast.

there was a brief interim of uncertainty on all those points, but just when I was getting worried nothing was going to work out like I wanted, it all turned around. this is why I love life :)

I've been lucky enough to meet some very interesting and inspiring new people lately, and I'm back to teaching artsy kids with the Purple Crayon, so I'm thinking a creative revival is in store for this summer. I threw a few pots on the wheel yesterday (the heat dries them so much faster and makes my lack of bats much less of a problem), and am going to start cranking them out to sell for supplementary income (shoe moneys).

I know I say this every other post, but I really am going to take some pictures of all my crap to shamelessly promote myself in the near future. look forward.


side note: this just solidifies my total geek status, and I'm almost a little embarassed to mention it, but I almost have 50 followers on Blip.fm, and it makes me freaking excited. 48 people appreciate my taste in music. geeeeeeeekgasm.

we could close the curtains, pretend like there's no world outside

For spring break one year, my family took a vacation to Sanibel Island, Florida. This is an absolutely beautiful and relatively un-commercialized vacation spot (i.e. the beaches aren't totally covered with rich, anorexic spring-breakers every year). It's pretty nice. I had been there before, and I'd go there again.

But for some reason, that one year I brought a half a suitcase full of yarn and various knitting needles, and I stayed in the beach house we were renting and knitted. Constantly. The entire week. And had a blast. I didn't bring any patterns and had no access to the internet, so I created an entire line of hats out of my head.

Looking back, my parents probably spent a good deal of money renting the place, and I probably should have spent more time out on the beach taking advantage of that... but hey. It was a nice vacation.

I think that's the kind of vacation I need to have more often. I can't remember the last time I've done that kind of thing without feeling guilty for "wasting time" or stressed afterward from pushing things like homework or errands to the absolute brink of their deadlines.

That's where I am right now. I have a presentation that needs to be basically done by this evening, and I'm still in the planning stages.

And of course, I'm suddenly full of inspiration to spin, knit, carve stamps, go thrift store shopping, bake, draw, paint, throw pots...


Fuck.

the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself

ladies and gentlemen, life is good again.

oh wait. I haven't written in a while, and you had no idea life wasn't so good for a week or so there. I'll explain.

I quit my job at Escape, and started my new one at Peet's. The new one that pays much, much, better. But I wasn't sure I was going to like it. I'm still not entirely convinced, but I'm getting there. They hired me as an opener, and one of the reasons I was hating my job at Escape was because I had to work so many morning shifts. But... and I never thought I'd see this day, but I've become a morning person. Not really by choice. Now I'm out like a light by 10 every night, and up at 7 or earlier every morning. This has been a little tough to get used to.

One of the worst parts was having a class from 5:30-6:45 that required way too much preperation and participaiton. The professor refused to lecture. Instead, she wanted to do this hippy, "interteaching" thing where you're required to read the entire chapter and basically write a detailed outline of it, then come to class and teach everyone in your small group what you wrote about. Screw that. I'm dropping that class today. I'm not going to spend 2+ hours before every class working on homework. I'm in college. I earned the right not to do that over four agonizing years of daily homework.

So now that class is out of the picture, and I'm instantly 100x happier. Now I have it pretty easy. All I have to do is come to class, take a few notes, write a paper ever now and then, and skim through my textbooks before an exam. Bliss.

And my history professor consistently impresses me. I actually enjoy coming to class every morning. His lectures last 30 minutes (and the class is supposed to be an hour and 15 minutes long), and while you have to be pretty on the ball with notetaking to get everything down, he teaches the material in a way that sticks, and lets you know exactly what to expect for the test. He wins. I'm going to give him a pretty amazing review on RateMyProfessors.com at the end of the semester.

But back to me being a morning person. It definitely puts a little stress on certain relationships - I'll try to hang out with friends or the boyfriend after 9, and I'll end up falling asleep doing whatever we're doing. Movies are rough. I sleep through them all. Then I feel like shit when I wake up, and barely have the energy to drive myself home and crawl into bed. But I'm going to find a way to fix that. Naps might be the answer. Or maybe I'll give polyphasic sleeping a shot.

But everything else is quite nice. I feel like I'm going to have time and energy during the day to do all the things I've been depressed about not being able to do. I've been knitting a bit, and I'll get some pictures of my projects on here soon. I got back my joie de vivre.

nobody said it was easy.

hi there.

missed you. I've been pretty caught up in other things lately, but there's a lot I should have written about. first - I've had quite a few days of feeling like I'm floating/dreaming/high out of my mind. in the best possible way. gotta attribute those to the adorable Coffee Master I'm currently dating. and, you know, the fact that I'm a ridiculous, irrational, optimist.

but then... my job. I get tired of hearing:
"Do you really want to be a barista for the rest of your life?"
- Yes.
"You think you can really make a living making people lattes?"
- Probably not.
"Find a job doing something you're really passionate about."
- Um, hello? Coffee?

not that any of this has ever discouraged me from being head-over-heels in love with my current job. I love the customers, the relationships with the regulars, the adrenaline during the morning rush, the ease with which you can make someone happy by memorizing their drink, the control I have over tips, the FREE COFFEE, the access to a decent espresso machine... oh god. love love love.

I also love the people I work with. but due to massive drama, we've lost two over the past month. not only do I miss them terribly, our store is now incredibly understaffed. also, the majority of our employees are in school, and during the semester I am among the only three who can work during the weekdays. so all my shifts start at either 5 am, 6 am, or 7 am. and I close Saturdays and come in at 8 on Sundays. that leaves me with a maximum of 6 potential hours of sleep, which wouldn't really be that bad, but the chances of me actually falling asleep as soon as I get home from work are slim. boo. also, I'll be working a total of 30 hours a week, plus 12 hours of school... and I think that's a lot to ask of anyone.

so I'm quitting. and it's tough. I had a few days where I felt completely unmotivated and uninspired to do anything - as if all I was actually capable of doing was working (found my inspiration, though - watch The Science of Sleep).

but... I turned in an application at Peet's, and I got a call yesterday and set up an interview for tomorrow. eek. there are things about Peet's that I'm not terribly excited about (uniform, potential slllooooww shifts, noisy grocery store right beside it) but there are other things I am excited about, like being paid what I deserve, getting the lunch breaks I'm legally entitled to, and hopefully having a more flexible schedule.

so wish me luck. I just want a job I can be happy with. that lets me play around with an espresso machine.

you've made it through the direst of straights, alright.

it's over.

actually, not quite, I have one last final tomorrow at 11:30, but I'm not worried/don't care. it's going to be breezy. and then it will be done.

last night, while sitting at the bar of my (2nd) favorite coffee shop, it hit me that I had nothing to work on - no tests to study for, no papers to write, no symptoms of depressive or manic episodes to memorize... it was a weird feeling.

it's like the world is brand new, and I finally get to go enjoy it. freedom is so beautiful.

I'm so inspired - coffee tastes better, the air smells crisper, the sun is brighter... I want to draw, paint, build, create.


hopefully within the next few days I'll get around to photographing some of the projects I've done in Design this semester... and then do some more from my own inspiration.

okay, bye. ❤

20.

If this absolutely ridiculous semester has done anything for me, it has inflated my confidence in my ability to write on a deadline - to the point where I convinced myself that I could fit my film analysis paper into my schedule somehow today... when I really should have done it yesterday.

So, that's what I'm doing tonight for the next 3 hours. Then, packing, maybe sleeping, and leaving the house at 4 am to hop a plane to Colombia! I may update from the airport tomorrow - if I'm not completely catatonic.

18.

I'm paying my little sister to finish my art project for me.

Shhhh. Don't tell.

14.

Ahh, this is ridiculous.

I'll put it into writing so may seem like less of a massive flood of stuff to do. Or it may seem like more. Either way, organization should help?

Due Monday:

1) study for another ridiculous Abnormal Psych exam. After I took the last one, I passed out on the floor of the testing center. It's freezing in there. I don't understand why they feel like they can afford to pay to keep the air conditioning at 60 degrees, but not to pay enough staff to keep it open for reasonable hours on weekends.

Tuesday:

1) "Life Script" project for Personality Theory. Haven't started yet. This is basically an in-depth self examination from ages 3-18. And I'm serious when I say in-depth. There are questions about family, favorite TV shows, most embarrassing moments... and of course you're required to analyze how these had an effect on your life and ideologies and EVERYTHING. Counts for a HUGE part of my grade.

2) Tri-color painting for Design. I hate painting with acrylic. I'm absolutely horrible at it. And this painting is looking absolutely horrible. I'm considering trashing it and starting over, but I've already wasted 9 hours of my life on it. Grrr.

Thursday:

1) Study for a Spanish exam. This shouldn't be too big of a deal - I have skipped the majority of my classes since the last exam, but I'm not concerned. The class is a joke. The professor is a joke. But at least she's understanding and likes me so I don't lose grade points for not coming to class. I hope.

2) Film analysis for Abnormal Psych. This one could actually be fun, if I had more time to enjoy it. I almost convinced someone to do it for me today. This person seems to have developed a strong addiction to my chocolate chip cookies, and was ready to kill for another batch. Not commit plagiarism for me, though, apparently.

Then I'm going to Colombia for ten days (hope I can find some sort of internet cafe, or my NaBloPoMo dreams are screwed)...

And due the day I get back:

1) Mental Health Issues Survey for Abnormal Psych. I already have all my interviews done; now all that is left is to analyze trends and correlations, 2-3 pages. Cake.

2) Final Project in Spanish. I think this is supposed to be some some of short insrtuctional speech... I really should find out soon, I guess. Shouldn't be hard - I'm going to be working on it whilst in a Spanish-speaking country.

And then: 1) Major, million-page personality theory thesis, 2) Final project in Design, 3) Personality Theory final, 4) Abnormal Psych final, 5) Design vocab final, 6) Abnormal Psych clinical analysis video...

and I really, really, hope that's all.

13.

It's another one of those days... at school from 9:30 AM until 9:00 PM. Not a lot of chance for a break for lunch/sleep/sanity. I do plan on skipping Spanish - to study for the test I mentioned earlier.

Next year, when I remember to schedule myself a good, long 1.5 hour lunch break, I'm going to go down to the cafeteria every day. On Tuesday Spanish was canceled and I got to have lunch with my awesome class-skipping buddies, and had an amazing sandwich... I have dreams about sandwiches like that one. When I sleep, that is. Which isn't often. Ciabatta bread, pesto mayo, tons of turkey, bacon, and swiss cheese... beautiful.

Seeing as I'm pretty stuck on the lower rungs of Maslow's hierarchy of needs at the moment (food & sleep), I'll save my discussion on self-actualization for later.

Chau.

04.

just barely squeaking by on today's deadline... today was also quite long.

I'm feeling slightly like death, so I'm going to keep it very short, but if I can find time, I'll have plenty to write about tomorrow.

1) everyone, quit being so bitchy about politics. don't tell me who I should vote for, say I'm stupid for voting a certain way, or whine about who gets elected. this goes for both sides. grow up.

2) school is eating me alive. but there's only about a month and a half left. hallelujah.

3) I laugh at all the people who were so excited to get their free starbucks coffee today. ha. haha. ha.

advice to my future self.

By future, I mean mid-December, when it will be time to register for yet another semester of college drudgery.

• No more night classes.

• No more 3-hour classes. Eww.
  

• No classes before 10 am. That has worked out beautifully this semester - I've only been sick once, as opposed to three times in the semester I had an 8 am class.

• CLEP the last semester of Spanish. It just really isn't fun anymore, and if I can pass the exam, I'm moving on to Spanish Lit.

• Schedule an hour for lunch. I generally end up eating two meals on Tuesdays and Thursdays - one at 2:30 and one at about midnight. Probably not the healthiest.

• If a professor has ratings on RateMyProfessors.com along the lines of "Freaking hard prof," "His exams are 20 pgs. long!!" or "Only take from him if you have a death wish," believe them. And only take one of his classes per semester.

• Take some easy classes. Please.
  

if it's not too late for coffee, I'll be at your place in 10.

Oh, life. It's lovely.

But it does wear one out.

School remains hectic - I'm coming to terms with the fact that life will not end if I don't make the dean's list this semester... still going to work my ass off to try, though.

The coffee shop is quite nice. I've had three 5 am shifts this week, and though they've been more fun than the cold-molasses-y slow night shifts, they freaking kill me. I've been pretty good about getting to sleep by 11, but that still only gives me 4.5 hours of sleep. Not quite enough. I can give customers huge fake smiles and get their orders right, but when I get home I crasssssssshhh. Which is not good when one has massive amounts of homework to do.

But, again, it would be much worse if I had to deal with bitchy coworkers. And I'm finally getting tips, so that extra dollar or so an hour makes my pay almost comparable to what I was making at the Purple Crayon. And I feel like I have a bit more control over tips - chat a little bit with the customers and compliment their shirt/purse/motorcycle, and you're more likely to get a dollar or so.

But on the other hand, some people get their only social contact at the drive-thru at 6 am, and thus talk your ear off for 10 minutes and proceed to pay in exact change. :(

And some people are just flat-out rude. Srsly. I may feel like murdering everyone who talks loudly to me before I've had my morning coffee, but I can usually control that urge. Obviously there are those who cannot.

And that's about it. My life is work, school, sleep, and the occasional pre/post-work/school outing right now. And lots of delicious, free coffee. And doughnuts. Oh my. I've gained three pounds since I started working. Yayy :))


*note to Latte Boy: good-looking guys are actually a rarity in the mornings - don't be jealous. I only flirt with old, ugly guys.

I never knew just what it was about that old coffee shop I loved so much

Whew. I feel like things are more or less back under control. Sleep helps immensely. So does eating some decent food. Maslow is a freaking genius. There are still way too many things to do and not a lot of time to do them, but at least it's not making me lose my mind anymore.

Work is going fantastically - I finally got to make drinks today and (kind of) learned to use the register, so I don't just stand in the back and feel helpless during a rush. Loving the people I'm working with - it's like I've known them forever.

Hat Attack - I died :( My victim overnighted me her almost-finished hat, and I got it that morning, but had to take a psych exam and then work, so I didn't get to knit a stitch on it before I got the hat that killed me in the mail that afternoon. Tragedy.

Pictures soon - of my murder weapon, and of some spinning I've been doing. I tried navajo plying for the first time and it turned out rather excitingly.

annd...
avocado smoothies = ♥

take my hand, and we'll make it, I swear.

I can't remember ever being this stressed in my life.

I keep telling myself, "this is a good thing - it builds character, strengthens tolerance, teaches patience..."

Whatever. While true, whatever positive things may happen as a result in the future, none of them really help in the moment. Having no time to do anything except work, study, do homework, and freak out about how much work, studying, and homework you have to do sucks hardcore. I don't actually have time to be writing this blog, but I think it helps a little bit - maybe to pinpoint what's really bothering me, maybe just to get it out there so I'm not dealing with this alone.

Like I've mentioned before, procrastination and my tendency to be easily distracted are probably what puts me in these stressful situations, but it does seem like all my professors get together and assign everything to be due at exactly the same time. Conspiracy.

One of the things that is absolutely DRIVING ME CRAZY is how all these psych classes are turning me into a hyper-analytical self-therapist... I pretty much uncontrollably start analyzing everything I say or think while I'm thinking or saying it. It's like there are two voices in my head that are both trying to talk at the same time - unbelievably confusing. My professor warned everyone at the beginning of the semester that this might happen. Didn't tell us how to stop it, however.


So. On stress. I think right now it would be great to have some kind of cathartic, emotional release, like a fit of screaming or some frustrated tears... but instead I'm going numb, and parts of my brain are shutting off so I can't feel anything except frustration at not being able to feel anything. Ego defense mechanism? Maybe, but they're supposed to be unconscious. If anything, I'd call this intellectualization.

Can't shut my ridiculously busy brain off. I used to be able to when I was taking yoga. Now every waking moment it's going over these impossible questions and trying to find solutions. Silly brain, just accept that the only solution is to STOP THINKING and just DO the things that need to be done and not distract me so much. Grr. Inner conflict, much?

I think there's a big part of me that has trouble accepting helplessness - I'm pretty strong and independent (or so I'd like to believe), so I should be able to do anything, right? I think so. But I can't wrap my head around the fact that certain things are outside of my control.

I know other people have been here (I'm starting to wonder if this is how all the LCA Western Civvies felt during senior year) - what do you do? I really can't spare any time for relaxing things like knitting, spinning, watching movies... is there just a certain state of mind I should aim for?


Well. My lunch (which is also going to have to count as breakfast and dinner until I can eat after my 6:30-9 class) has finally sunk in so I don't feel on the verge of passing out. Back to work.

tuesday morning, in the dark - I was finding out who you are

Hmm. 4:30 am, not sleepy. Time for another one of those weird, deep-ish thought explosions.

The primary reason I'm still awake is my essay I'm writing for Psych of Personality. I definitely wasted my weekend (but had quite a bit of fun in the process) that was supposed to be devoted to studying for the scary Abnormal Psych exam I have to take by Thursday, and it wasn't until late Sunday night that I even remembered this essay was due. And I'm usually so good about getting these things on my iCal to-do list. Getting them on there, yes. Doing them before they're due, not so much.

On Personality Theory - I'm loving the class; the prof. is a genius, we have great class discussions, and the subject itself is absolutely fascinating, but...

I'm not sure I can deal with the massive amounts of mandatory introspection involved in the assignments. As I'm writing this 6-volume novel of an essay about my results from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test (take it - I'd love to see your results and thereby get to know you way better), I realize there's a lot about myself that I never really wanted to know.

I'm all for learning about what makes other people tick, but I hate having to explain myself to other people. Maybe because it means explaining myself to myself first. And if I do manage to dig that deep into the inner workings of my psyche, it sounds vain or self-absorbed when I put it into writing. Could I possibly just be vain and self-absorbed? Let's not go there.

Can vanity really exist if you consciously recognize it in yourself? Or is it one of those catch-22 things like humbleness (if you consider yourself to be a humble person, you're bragging and thus not being humble)?


Job interviews - what on earth do you say when they ask you to name three bad things about yourself?

"I work too hard."

"I'm a perfectionist."

"My right eyebrow is slightly higher than my left."


I'm becoming more and more convinced that I have ADD. That would explain a lot. Every single time I do homework, I spend a ridiculous amount of time doing absolutely everything imaginable except homework. It's a miracle I ever finish anything. My ability to procrastinate is truly impressive. I'm impressed, at least. I'm kind of proud of it, actually.


Now I'm tired.

judging by your smile, you are holding something back

It's 4:15 AM.

I'm sure there are plenty of morning people, people with long commutes, polyphasic sleepers, coffee/doughnut shop workers, Walmart employees, and Good Morning America hosts who are just waking up; getting ready to start their days.

I'm still trying to get to sleep. Not really trying anymore, obviously. Briefly giving up with the hopes that sudden, uncontrollably narcolepsy will hit me while I'm typing.

I guess I could be revving up for NaBloPoMo in November. I seriously considered doing that last year, but I suspect that deep down in my psyche there's something that rebels against me forming positive habits, and subconsciously forces me to skip a day - just to weaken my resolve. And I'm just not the type of person to feel guilty about that kind of thing. Probably why I've never stuck to a diet or exercise plan for more than 2 days. Really hope my metabolism is still this fast when I'm 30.


Why am I still awake? It could be because of the massive amounts of coffee I drank today. Don't even want to start figuring out the milligrams of caffeine. But it never had any effect (affect? Mrs. Rice would know.) on me whatsoever at 10 this morning when I desperately needed it... no sleep last night either. There's this mosquito (but there must be more than one, because I caught one in midair and squashed it with a vengeance about 4 hours ago) that must be invisible and the size of a small dog that flies around my head pretty much constantly every night. It's the loudest thing I've heard in my life. And I have about 500 bites all over my body, because it somehow can bite through my comforter when it gets tired of biting my exposed arms and feet. Good Lord. I'm mystified.

But! I found a way to at least tune out the sound (even though I still know it's there and biting, and it haunts me) - brilliant iPhone app aSleep. Plays ambient sounds through your headphones to block out mosquito noises. Probably good for studying in distracting places or doing yoga, too. Best 99 pennies I ever spent.

Another possible reason for this insomnia - the weird, 4 hour nap I took today. I started out feeling like my body was probably about to give up and die after being sick for 9 days (I'll discuss that momentarily), and woke up feeling significantly more hopeful, but physically the same. Weird feeling - being happy and feeling like shit at the same time. I don't recommend it.

On being sick: it sucks. But it has been extremely interesting noticing the changes in my mental processes (psych geek =])over the course of the last 9 days (minus Thursday - I was actually feeling pretty decent then). I hopped back and forth between wanting sympathy and telling myself to suck it up sooo many times, and there was a point when I seriously wanted to exact severe physical revenge on whichever poor soul it was who came to school while sick and infected me. Sometimes I wasn't thinking at all - that's hard to do if you're trying. And then there was today, when I was tired of taking drugs and feeling slightly better for a few hours just to crash back into feeling horrible...

Tylenol PM used to be my best friend. Now, thanks to a horrific series of nightmares, I don't think I'll ever have the courage to take it again.


Buh. I should try to sleep again. I have a paper to write tomorrow, and possibly a doctor's appointment. And a babysitting job I'm going to cancel.

But you can't deny that this was a beautiful glimpse at the kind of things that run around in my head when I don't direct my thoughts in one way or another. And that was the censored version.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life... and I'm feelin good.

You guys were so right.

Blocking the hell out of that mitten made it absolutely beautiful. I should never have doubted one of the most basic of the ancient rites of Needlecraftery. I'm sorry. And I definitely haven't taken an after picture, nor have I photo'd the other projects I've been working on. Just trust me - they're all incredible, as usual.


Speaking of incredible.

My many hours spent choosing professors and organizing my schedule have not left me disappointed. Though not actually incredible, thanks to various unrelated, outside factors, my classes have been very promising so far.

Psych of Personality/Abnormal Psych - THANK YOU, RateMyProfessors.com. I took a big risk taking the same guy for two classes, but I'm not sorry. He's so laid-back and casual, but at the same time has a deep sense of professionalism and serious control of the classroom. Annnd he knows my name and looks deep into my eyes - almost into my soul - when I'm talking...

ahem.

And of course there's the obligatory bitch who insists on letting everyone know exactly how disgusting she thinks people with tattoos and piercings are and "lyke, omg, they're so nasty, I don't even knooooowww how anyone could dooo anything like that to their bodies and they must be totally messed up and psychotic to put poison in their bloodstream and mutilate themselves and ZZOOOMG! girl next to me, is that a nose ring??? omigod, what were you thinking, do you really just hate your body that much that you would mistreat it like that??"

On a good day, I want to strangle her. On a day like today, I had to flip her off with both hands under the desk. Hon, we all have our own opinions, and a debate (though on a completely unrelated subject) is actually a great and appropriate time to voice them, but if you happen to be blonde and stupid and have a abnormally squeaky voice, don't sit next to someone with a fever and massive sinus congestion and expect to live.

But, lo; the wonderful Professor L. is quick to get the discussion back on track without offending anyone or allowing any violent fights to break out. Yayy :)


Intermediate Spanish I - interesting class, with a good number of what I presume are "continuing education" students, ages 40-75, and kids who took Beginning Spanish II from the same prof. last semester. La Maestra is rather eccentric, consistently 10-15 minutes late, and tends to mostly call on her pet students from previous classes (I suspect it's because theirs are the only names she can remember). Normally, all these things would seriously annoy me in a professor, but for some reason I don't mind them coming from her. Maybe it's because she's hilarious. Or maybe it's because the only time she did call on me, she gave me a huge ego-boosting complement on my accent.


2-D Design - Ahh. This class awakens the long-dormant artist inside my soul. The first time I walked into the room I gave a huge, involuntary sigh and got a beautiful feeling of everything being right with the world. Artgasam.

The lighting is amazing, the ceilings are high, the tables are rotating, the chairs are comfy - in short, the room alone is the polar opposite of the prison-like image I usually associate with school and academia. The instructor is shockingly young, and probably in her first or second year of teaching. She's only given one lecture so far, so I can't form much of an opinion on how qualified she is, but at least her slight drawl (which normally realllly irratates me - a side effect of growing up with some hardcore rednecks in rural Alabama, I guess?) is more endearning than annoying.

Most importantly, it's giving me some time to actually sit down and create something. I'll be honest - spending two and a half hours in the same class is rather tough, but I've only had to actually stay the whole duration once. I had already finished my project when I came to class today, so I just drew penguins and owls for about an hour, until Teach came over to look at my progress and told me I could go if I was quiet and didn't let anyone see me leave :)


So my education is progressing quite nicely, and I usually get to see a friendly face in or on the way to every class. It's pretty wonderful. Not seeing a whole lot of opportunity for in-class knitting, but I may be able to work something out with my Psych professor.

When I look back now, that summer seemed to last forever.

Ohh, summer, I'm going to be sad to see you go.

Not that it was particularly relaxing as it has been in years past - I worked a bit more than I was used to and had to survive without my boss for over a month. But the overwhelming theme was freedom, just like every summer's should be.

It has been truly beautiful - kind of like a song by Wheat, The Shins, or Sondre Lerche (don't know what I mean? please, please, let me make you a mix CD immediately). Doesn't really make that much sense when you try to analyze it, but look at it in a dreamy, detached state of mind, and it's perfectly clear. I guess it helps that I've been in that state of mind the entire summer.

I'm tempted to continue that train of thought and turn this into a deep, intro/retro/ultra-spective monologue, but I've really said it all right there. Simple, sweet, and sublime.

School starts a week from tomorrow. I definitely spent $600 on textbooks this afternoon, which is about $200 more than I spent on tuition. Love college.

I'm a tad trepidated (< not a real word) about taking four classes in a semester after my freakishly easy senior year, but I think I'll be okay. I have two psych classes, both with the same highly-rated professor (8 chili peppers on ratemyprofessors.com), a Spanish class I could have easily CLEP'd but decided to take so I don't forget everything I've learned by skipping a semester, and a 3-hour design class that looks promising, if a bit inconvenient.


Tomorrow is my last day of work for an unspecified period of time - summer classes have ended, and the fall schedule conflicts with my school schedule, so I'm only coming in every month or so for holiday specials. I'm definitely going to miss it - I've been doing this for three years now, and making way more money than I ever possibly could have been elsewhere. It's probably time to move on though. The Purple Crayon is looking at its final days if no one buys the business - my boss has been ready to retire for years now.

In very exciting news, my mom randomly stumbled across an amazing deal on a kiln on Craig's List the other day, and after I went down to Dallas to inspect it, she snapped it up. I'm no kiln expert (I've been burned on them enough times that I should be, however), but it looks beautiful and is going to be able to do whatever I need it to in the way of high-firing. I have to figure out how to use cones until I can afford a pyrometer, but that's just old-school and cool anyway.


Knitters - if you made it through all that non-yarn-related content without your eyes glazing over, I commend you. Here's some relief:



This is the first of the Chevaliers I was talking about. Ugh. See the weird, stretched out stitches? I'll have a block party tomorrow and see if I can fix those. Also, if my hand looks weird, it's because that's a right-hand mitten on my left hand. Too hard to take the picture otherwise :)

Annd. I don't know how I missed out on the first round, but I'm crazy excited for Hat Attack 2! I'm actually swatching (OH em gee) because I'm not sure I feel like spending $20 on the suggested yarn (I'm sorry, I mean weapon). My dream of being a knitting assassin has finally come to fruition.

Bring Me Java, Bring Me Joy

Remember that online history class I mentioned? I've pretty much found an excuse to blow it off every single day since it started. Annnnd there are exactly eight days left until the midterm.

Keep in mind that there were only seventeen days in total before the midterm to begin with, but you'd think I'd have had the wherewithal to start studying a tad sooner.

Not that I haven't tried - but there's always something to distract me. My house is always noisy unless everyone's gone, and that rarely happens for more than an hour or two at a time. So I've started coffee-shop-hopping, even going to Starbucks (evil mega-conglomerate that it is) occasionally. This has proved slightly counterproductive, as most java joints have apparently made it their policy to hire almost solely from the ridiculously-attractive-college-aged-male demographic.

I've also been staying up rather late every night, so I've needed a strong dose of caffeine every morning to get rid of my headaches and jitters. On top of those factors, I just got a second Italian espresso maker, pretty much exclusively invite people to get coffee when I want to hang out, and several of my friends have jobs as baristas.

So now, as I'm feeling a little light-headed and wishing I hadn't accepted that free extra shot from Matt the Latte Boy, I've decided to start recording my daily caffeine intake.

10:00 am - Chai tea (not that significant, but it's still buzzed)
3:30 - Triple espresso
5:30 - Triple grande half-caff americano (they put two shots in a normal one, so by some weird math that I don't quite understand, I'm going to say a triple half-caff is equal to about 1.5 caffeinated shots)

Total shots: 4.5

so assuming a shot has about 77 mg of caffeine (which I know totally depends on the roast, blend, and extraction, but I'm going by *bux's nutrition guide), and the Chai has 47mg...

Total: 393.5 mg

*edit*
I knew I was doing something screwy with that math. I forgot that decaf espresso still has somewhere around 12 mg of caffeine per shot (bah. I get more of a buzz off of water.), so that's an extra 18 mg.

New Total: 411.5

Who knew love could be this caffeinated?

Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fiiine.

Hello Knit Blog.

I know you must have missed me.

I'm back. But I have nothing to show for my long absence. Except for the beginnings of a boring-yet-adorable garter-stitch-striped alpaca scarf and two hats (one of which I can't remember where I put for the life of me)I haven't knit a stitch. Nor spun a yard. Forgive me. Things have been hectic.

Okay, I'll be honest. They haven't been too hectic. It's due to a little thing called senioritis. It causes total and complete apathy about everything except graduating. And as of May 16, I's graduated. Please join me in a moment of pure, summery, bliss.

But now that I've got that whole high school thing over with, I'm so very inspired to plan for this summer. So here's a few things I'd like to get accomplished before September.


1) Work.

The studio where I used to teach closed down due to an increase in rent and a shitty air conditioner that the landlord refused to fix, but we're moving our operation to two different rec centers (one five minutes away, the other twenty minutes) and will have to cross our fingers that the people firing our clay stuff don't screw things up horribly.

I just got a raise - (yeah!) but I'll only be teaching about 25 hours a week, so I should have plenty of time to do other things. Such as:


2) Learn.

I already have my classes planned out for this fall, but to get into the C++ class I want to take (yeah, that's right. totally to meet geek boys.) I need to take College Algebra as a coreq. Eww. And before I can take that, I have to take College Mathematics, or maybe my SAT scores will cover it, or I might have to take the TSI again, or I might have to take "developmental courses" to finally learn the math I should have learned in high school, blah blah blah.

But I was lazy, and didn't find out what I needed to do in time for the beginning of Summer 1, so I'm taking History II online. Which means I have about a month to finish the entire course by myself, and nothing is due until the 21st. But half of everything is due the 21st. So I could potentially procrastinate like none other, but I'm going to try not to. I still haven't finished the first chapter of the textbook.


3) Read.

I'm going to keep working on my "101 Great Books Recommended for College-Bound Readers" list over the summer, as I'm technically still "college-bound," and I'm sure it'll still be valuable even after I've been college-bound-and-gagged this fall.

I've kind of been on a utopian kick lately (Walden Two and 1984 rocked my brave new world), but a few friends of mine are starting a Jane Austen book club (inspired by the slightly entertaining movie by the same name), so Emma is next on my list. I've seen movies for all the books except for Northanger Abbey and Persuasion, but reading Pride and Prejudice after seeing the movie (even the 6-hour Colin Firth version) makes me think reading the books will still definitely be worthwhile.


I'm also going to get an amazing skin-cancer-inducing tan, visit every coffee shop in Texas, and stay up until 4 at least one night a week.

Oh, and on a side note, the Last.fm widget on the side there is going to be much more in sync with my actual music consumption now that I have a macbook and multiple ipods to update it with. Thank you, graduation moneys.